I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize