Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
