it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is the high leading the old right now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize