I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
