this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize