how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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