they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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