just survived the first fart of the relationship.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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