my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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