my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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