Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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