so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize