Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
