yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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