are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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