I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
