What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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