She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize