Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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