Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
