I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
