Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
