I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
