U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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