I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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