Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the day after is always just damage control
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
