I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
