He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
