you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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