literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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