know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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