Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
