were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
