Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
