I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
