Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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