His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
