did you get engaged???
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
