I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
