Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
