Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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