You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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