god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
