how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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