just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
