how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
