I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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