I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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