TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
