Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
