i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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