oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
