yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She even gives head with a lisp.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
