i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
