Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
