I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
