I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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