Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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