God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
